A NOTE REGARDING SAME-GENDER MARRIAGE.
As a matter of law in Massachusetts , two people of the same sex may enter the legal agreement of marriage. It is important to remember that marriage is first a civil contract. However, virtually all religions surround the civil part of marriage in a ceremony which solemnizes and “blesses” the union.
Subsequent to the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling last spring, I was asked by someone in our congregation – a member of long standing – to perform such a ceremony.
I would like to outline my thinking, and how I came to the conclusion which I did.
Personally, my answer was yes. I believe that all people, as children of God, are entitled to both happiness and equality. When that happiness is found in a committed and loving relationship, a relationship that benefits both the couple and the fabric of a just society, it deserves to be sanctified. In whatever manner both law and denominational policy allow.
As a member of a congregation, I also recognize the importance of using a pastor's prerogative with great care.
This topic was the subject of much discussion at the Massachusetts Conference, United Church of Christ, Annual Meeting in June. There were ministers who said, “it is my right to marry who I want, when I want, where I want.” There were ministers who went on record as being opposed to same gender marriage.
I thought the first position arrogant; and, I did not agree with the second.
So, I looked into how Open and Affirming churches in our area were dealing with this subject. I did hear of one church (only one) that put the subject to a congregational vote. My opinion on this? It is a resoundingly terrible idea. It is humiliating to the couple involved, potentially divisive, and completely out of keeping with our Open and Affirming stance.
A more practical route, taken by the churches in East Milton , Needham , Natick , and others was this: to consult the Diaconate. As representatives of the congregation, empowered to oversee matters of worship and spirituality, the Diaconate's voice was, in my mind, integral to “process.”
As you will see, the Diaconate did meet on this subject and developed a position in support of same-gender marriages. It follows this piece.
In this manner, I think we have chosen a route which – admittedly – boldly states our position, but has not been disrespectful of congregational unity.
Len Warner had an article in The Bulletin a few weeks back. He talked about attending the wedding of two former pastors from this very church. “ … their faithful witness has helped many of us move from, a place of fear to a place of celebration.”
Well said. My hopes, too, are celebratory. And my door is always open.
~~Pastor John
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The Deacons met on August 11, 2004 regarding Same Gender Marriage and our Open and Affirming position. Deacons in attendance were: Linda Handrahan, Chair, Gaye Pollino , Lisa Winchell, Mary Hemman, Ruth Patten and Elliott Moses. Linda Carlson emailed her approval. The following is a result developed on this position.
Message from the Deacons
The Deacons of the First Congregational Church of Norwood have met to discuss the decision by the Supreme Judicial Court about civil marriage for same-gender couples and how it affects our church family . As an Open and Affirming church, our congregation has covenanted to “ welcome all individuals regardless of physical or mental ability, race, age, culture, family status, sexual orientation or gender identity into the full life and community of our church. ”
The Deacons stand by that commitment, and after study, prayer and careful consideration, we affirm that all couples wishing to marry in our church will follow the same thoughtful and prayerful process that has been the tradition of our church and the practice of our pastor; that is, for the pastor to meet with every couple and determine whether our faith perspective is appropriate to the couple's understanding of marriage. We also affirm that the decision to perform a marriage ceremony for any couple has always been and remains the decision of the pastor.
We recognize that our congregation includes members who have different understandings, yet, we are united by our love for Jesus and the love he inspired us to show others. Holding this belief in our minds and hearts, we feel we are called to be a community of faith which respects each person's search.
We believe that this is an opportunity to grow as a loving and caring faith community.
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DRAFT OF OPEN AND AFFIRMING STATEMENT
We of the First Congregational Church in Norwood , United Church of Christ, recognize the call of our living God to affirm the dignity of every person.
As a loving and caring faith community, we recognize that we are one body in Christ and are called to love our neighbors as ourselves. In response to God's call to be agents of justice, we welcome all individuals regardless of physical or mental ability, race, age, culture, family status, sexual orientation or gender identity into the full life and community of our church.
By declaring ourselves an open and affirming congregation, we celebrate the wide range of gifts found in a diverse community. All members, officers, boards and committees are encouraged to meet this call in all of their actions.
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Declaring our commitment in writing places us among the ranks of Massachusetts churches that are intentionally welcoming to all peoples and specifically to those called out in the statement as having been excluded or marginalized.
This statement has been endorsed by the Church Council and the church congregation.
- Sheila Aborn, for the Open and Affirming (ONA) Committee
